There are probably plenty of things you’d like to know about Japanese ladies as a foreign man. For example, why are Japanese women so beautiful, why their culture is so unique, or why they work so hard but still manage to look so fresh and find all that time for their hobbies and interests.
However, ever since online dating unlocked more possibilities for us to date whoever we want than ever, you no longer have to dream about Japanese girls from a distance. How hard is it to date a Japanese woman? You can actually find a Japanese girlfriend and have the relationship you’ve always wanted. And here are 10 tips for making it work.
1. Talk about your feelings even before the first date
In Japan, it is customary for future couples to discuss their feelings before meeting for the first date. In fact, a woman may not even agree to go on a date with you in a romantic context if you don’t tell her how you feel about her. If you skip this step, she may think you are just going out as friends.
This may be very unusual to someone from a Western culture, where couples typically go on several dates before talking about any romantic feelings whatsoever. However, no one says you need to make a big declaration of love. You simply need to say that you see her as more than just a friend and are excited to see how your relationship goes from there.
2. Don’t insist on paying for dinner
Depending on where you are from, or even the generation you belong to, your experience with paying the bill on a date can be different. However, despite many people claiming otherwise, chivalry is not dead in the West, and many American women are perfectly fine with the man paying for dinner, at least for the first few dates.
This is not the thing you will typically experience when dating in Japan. Japanese women also embrace certain acts of chivalry, but they usually insist on splitting the bill. It makes them feel more equal on dates and doesn’t make them feel like they owe anything to the man. So you can offer to pay once, but if she doesn’t accept your offer, don’t insist anymore.
3. Show some knowledge of the Japanese language and culture
Americans are sometimes guilty of having no time or patience for any other culture and language except their own. And even when they are trying to build relationships with women from other countries, they sometimes treat those women’s culture and language as an afterthought, expecting them to communicate in English and embrace Western culture.
While there is nothing wrong with that, and your Japanese girlfriend will probably already know the English language and American culture quite well, you should do the same to Japanese culture and language.
Of course, no one expects you to fully master Japanese in a month, but even learning several phrases and facts can already show your effort.
4. Don’t bombard her with attention between dates
One of the things you probably know about Japan and its people, even if you’ve never met any in person, is that they are incredibly busy. A typical Japanese girl, who works full-time, takes care of a home, has hobbies and friends, or continues her education, may only have time to go on a date once a week on the weekend.
Moreover, it’s considered rude to try and constantly attract your woman’s attention in between dates. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you should disappear between the weekends. However, you also shouldn’t send twenty text messages a day when you don’t have anything vital to say. A couple of texts in the morning and before sleep are wonderful.
5. Your weekend dates should take the whole day
Since you’re going to wait the whole week to see each other on the weekend, the payoff should be worth it. In other words, you should expect to spend the whole Saturday together. And you shouldn’t just rely on chance to do it—by the time you arrange the date, preferably a few days in advance, you already need to have a plan.
For example, you can meet in the morning for breakfast and coffee, take a walk in the park, have lunch, visit a museum, go shopping together, go home, cook dinner together, and eat it while watching a movie. And since you won’t see each other all week, you won’t get bored after spending so many hours together.
6. Public displays of affection are out of the question
As a Westerner, you’ve probably come to treat public displays of affection as something perfectly natural in a relationship, as a given.
Hugging or kissing in public is no big deal in Western countries. But while Japan is not a very conservative country as a whole, PDA is completely out of the question there.
The biggest display of affection you’ll see from couples there is holding hands or hugging the way friends would do. Everything else is reserved for more private spaces. And you shouldn’t embarrass your lady by your attempts to display your affection in public—she will gladly kiss you when it’s just the two of you, but not when the whole street is watching.
7. Always find time for your girlfriend
One of the reasons Japanese girls are unhappy with the local dating scene and are looking for partners abroad is that Japanese men are often too busy for a real relationship. They take ages to reply to a text and are often unavailable, being occupied with work or their friends.
This is how you can instantly seem more attractive to a Japanese woman—simply treat her like she is your top priority all the time. If she wants to meet during the week, find an opportunity to do it. It doesn’t take a lot of effort, but it makes a huge difference in your relationship.
8. Show that you pay attention to her stories
Women in Japan are highly intelligent, and their stories can be fascinating. However, they can be downright heartbroken if they realize that you don’t listen to their stories or don’t remember a word they are saying. Sure, when she tells you a story involving her family, with traditional Japanese names, it can be hard to keep track, but you need to try your best.
When you bring up something your girlfriend told you months ago during a current conversation, it will serve as proof that you actually pay attention to everything she says. And knowing that her words matter to you will tell her more about your attitude to her than your romantic confessions ever will.
9. Meet the parents only when you have marriage on your mind
In Japan, meeting the parents of your significant other is sometimes as important as the marriage proposal. Couples can date for years without meeting each other’s parents. And only when they decide to tie the knot, they can be formally introduced to their future in-laws. So unless you have firmly decided to marry your girlfriend, don’t confuse her by suggesting to meet her parents.
10. Let her know that your relationship has a future
The essential thing to understand about Japanese ladies is that they don’t usually date for fun, especially when they reach the age of 25 and older. When they agree to date someone long-term, it means they can potentially see themselves being married to that person and building a future together.
The good news is that if you are currently looking for Japanese brides online, then you are probably already looking for someone with long-term intentions. So if you want your lady to fully trust you and to confidently develop a relationship with you, simply tell her about your plans and that you want to be together through all the significant milestones.
There is no doubt that an international relationship, let alone the one with the prospect of marriage, can be a nerve-wracking experience. However, you should always keep your eyes on the big picture and remember that you’re doing it all for a bigger purpose.
So, how easy is it to date a Japanese woman? Don’t view dating a Japanese girl as some complicated mission with a high chance of failure. As long as your heart is in the right place and you do a minimum amount of research, your relationship should work out exactly the way you want.